You figure it out.

So parents, you know how you have those times, where you have said the exact same thing to your kids probably a dozen separate times, with at least a dozen variations (just in case wording it differently SOME how actually will get thru to the part of their brain that “get’s it”) all in only a weeks time (maybe 2 or even 3 if you’re lucky).  Well, I’m getting better and better all the time at looking at my kids calmly when there arises some sort of anxiety amongst the ranks over nothing of substance whatsoever, and just saying to them, “YOU figure it out.” 

I mean, honestly, did I wear your sneakers and then NOT put them on the shoe shelf?  Well then, why do I have to stop what I’m doing to go look for the missing one?  Did I teach you to hit your sibling “only joking” and then wonder why in the world they hit you back?  Did I make all the dirty dishes when you and 2 other kids had friends over and no one cleaned up after all the late night munching?  So why are you wondering why there are no clean bowls to eat breakfast with?

I looked at the kids, and not sure if it was out of total exhaustion, or just that I was blessed with the total disconnect I needed at the time, but with NO emotional stress whatsoever, I asked a couple of them … “So, just wondering something?  Is there anything different I could say today then what I said yesterday, the day before, or even the day before THAT that would make it easier for you to understand YOUR role in the argument you want me to stop between you all?”  ‘Noooo.  Not really.”  “Well then, I suggest you take a deep breath and then YOU go and figure it out. See ya. :o)”  you must end with a happy grin, just to let them see that YOU can choose NOT to yell, pitch a hissy fit, or let their desire to be big old grumpy farts have any effect over YOU enjoying YOUR day. 

Nope, I’m going to enjoy my book, putting it away when I’m done so I know where it is next time I want it.  I’m going to make myself something to eat, and even clean up after myself so the counter is clean for whomever comes in after me.  I’m even going to rinse and stack my dirty dishes, occasionally even loading the dishwasher if the kid with the duty has unloaded it.  I’m going to clean out the kitty litter and tend to the dog, because I chose to have the pets.  I’m even going to save your little toys from ending up being hidden by the dog, even though you did NOT put them away.  Why? Because I don’t want the dog to have them.  I never said you were going to get your little toys BACK, I just took them away from Baby Grrrl.  I know, I know, I’m such a mean mom.  But one of these days, I’ll get to sit back and grin as I listen to YOU tell YOUR kids “You’ll figure it out” as you shoo your kids off to settle their own quarrels.