How to pick a place, and then a house, and know if it's all right???

I dunno how to DO this!!  The military has always told us the general area we need to be in, and we've just made things work from there.  But when you're waiting to "eventually" get out, and your family is spread ALL over the place, and you really don't know what feels like "home" because you've spent years and years knowing home is where you currently live with your spouse and kids .... then how  HOW do you stare at a map a just PICK???

Well, we started by ruling OUT a whole lotta places.  Then started checking out prices for something large enough to fit our family in various areas.  Then checked out how close those places were to good schools, shopping, hospitals, the VA, and an LDS temple.  THAT helps to then cut the list down even further. 

In the end, I headed up to our old stomping grounds of Fredericksburg, Virginia to begin our search.  The best part about the trip was that I got to see some old friends, meet the family of an OLD friend, and get away ALL by myself for a day and a half.  The bad part . . . nothing but frustration came out of that trip.  I thought the realtor was going to work out great...but never heard back anything of substance, and that was only ONE note of comment.  Not a bit more contact.  Out of a HUGE list of homes to look at, not a single one would qualify to be purchased with our VA, so the favorites were instantly tossed out the window.  GRRR.  The ONE house that totally took me up there in the first place was pulled off the market THAT morning, even though I'd spoken to the realtor the day before.  It was pulled only because it wasn't selling.  I could still feel free to see it....but she NEVER got back to MY realtor.  WHAT???!!!!???

(did anyone tell them it's a buyers market and if someone shows an interest in buying a property you should work WITH them to possibly earn some money?????)

Guess noone wanted to earn money off of us.  I know friends and family that would have loved us up there, but I just kept feeling AWFUL about trying to find a place, and no matter how hard I prayed, or how much I looked and tried to not be TOO picky, absolutely NOTHING of a realistic option came up.  The more I prayed to know what to do, the more I just KNEW that isn't where we were supposed to call "home" again. 
*sighhhhhhhh.  Jason REALLY wanted to go there -- how do I convince him this isn't working.???
Well, I just told him.  I told him that with my recent problems with anxiety, it was making it nearly impossible to know if my uncomfortable feelings about buying up there was my answer from Heavenly Father, or if it was my own self doubt and frustration.  (In the past, that kind of uncomfortable feeling has been spot on a direct answer to our prayers).  Straight away, Jason realized he needed to be more open minded to other areas so that I could alleviate my stresses in trying to FORCE this to work.
WHAT a difference that made!!!!
Now, here we are, checking out a bunch of places in the Raleigh area of North Carolina, and it's is ALL starting to fall into place.  Our fears that past problems might not allow us to afford the size of house we want and need on the amount of land we would like .... ALL was resolved and answered today.  We have the greatest Lender ever that we are working with, and got totally pre-qualified today far above the price range we had been looking at.  There's no way we're going to USE the amount we qualify for, because I don't want a mortgage that could choke us in 5 or 10 years.  But OH is it a huge relief to know we are one HUGE step closer to getting back to the point of having OUR OWN HOME again.!!!!
Don't get me wrong, I'm totally grateful for the base housing we have been in, and always having a roof over our head, and not having to worry about repairing anything, but it's just NOT the same as having our own home. 

Now, for the best part --- it's still a pretty big IF, but we MAY have already found the house that is calling, screaming, and bellowing our names to own it.  A big old farm house that was built in 1918, and has clearly been added onto at least once, but it looks to us like twice (or once then altered some).  The rooms are HUGE  (16'x16' up to 19x15) and it's on a nice little chunk of land.  This is the kind of house Jason and I have always joked and dreamed we could own.  BIG, OLD and could use some work.  Nothing huge and major, but updating and leveling off.  Old houses settle, and the door frames and closets trim....LOL OH is it off kilter.  But it just feels SO us.

Before the weekend is up, we will go take look #2 at "thee house", and this time will be with clear "inspection ready" eyes.  Camera in one hand, flashlight in the other (and maybe a tape measure in the pocket just in case).  No slip on shoes, it's boot time so we can walk the property, and also, no kids so we can stay focused.  They've had their look, their jaw dropping was enough input for me, but all the things they noticed that we may not have was pretty cool.  I like including them in the process.

So now, even though we SO want this to be the house to be our home so we can NO longer have a change of address ;o) .... reality is going to step in, IF we can shake the excitement we feel just thinking about this house, and a logical and prayerful decision will be reached.

(but I gotta tell ya, we planned long ago to be able to have space for my folks to have their own apartment or own house on our land...at least the space to be able to make this happen.....and even Jason said straight off the bat - "Plenty of room for Grandma & Grandpa, and heck, the family reunion could be here and we wouldn't even need to build another house or cabin to fit everyone"  YES! that's what I like to hear.  Granted, before THAT would happen, I insist we start by adding TWO more bathrooms.  Yup, the house is THAT big that even though there are already 2, we'd need 2 more.  Only 1 needs to be a full bath, the other one can just have a shower.  I'll keep it simple.  he he he.)

So, IF it's meant to be ours, we'll find a way to get it without pushing outside our known financial cap.  If not, I'm sure we'll find something else.  But I'm sure enjoying this dreamy state while it's here.  And IF I can get it, and I end up sewing on the side for extra money, I'll actually have an entire ROOM for my sewing/craft stuff!!

Okay, if my kids ever finish in the shower and tending to the neighbors dog so they can get to bed, then maybe I can get to bed.  This is one of the rare times I'm HAPPY to have meds that help me relax to fall asleep, because I'm too excited and jittery with all that's fallen into place SO quickly.  
.... o k a y ... b r e a t h